Friday, September 15, 2006


I am back!!! Bipolarity is so IN, but telling you the truth sometimes is exhausting, I am acting weird, embarrassing the people around me and I am adopting a weird accent. Madonna and I now can talk.

I am drinking tea with milk, hahaha so funny how things just come along the way. I am dressing to kill and wearing make up, guys can you picture me? I even wearing wedges hahaha running in high heels through the tunnels, what an image of an anthropologist! Two mobile phones, agenda on hand, keeping up with the British punctuality. What the hell is this? My anthropology is more like rural Mexico, no time at all, going along with the miracle of living below poverty levels. No running water, feet or donkeys as transportation and no phone at all.

It is amazing how things evolve. Is evolving a good word?

The Mexican Independence Day is today guys is not the Cinco de Mayo, ok? And my Mexican girlfriend and I are planning to celebrate, my posh Mexican middle classers invited me to have dinner with them but I need to get up really early for a Indian Festival, buhhhh too bad. So my girlfriend and I decided to do something tomorrow, she promises me to take me to weird places, can wait, I CAN WAIT to be honest.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

London London London and its punctuality…I have been conducting a series of interviews with White British Women (what is White anyway? is it the absence of melanine? maaannnn deja vu Enoch help me out) and I can say none of them have been late, on the contrary they get here one hour to fifteen minutes earlier, one hour afraid of being late, one beautiful little lady got here a day early to confirm our appointment, no further comments. Have you ever heard about latinos and time? We are ruled by a whole different concept of time and that is killing me.


Good thing is that beer is available anywhere, anytime, sometimes way too available haha. I am starting to feeling better, those proteins a kicking in. London weather widely commented has been amazing, sometimes I am wondering if am I really here.

I am oscillating between the three stages of cultural shock 1) the honeymoon, 2) everything is awful I wanna go home and 3) resignation I’ll be ok. I still love London, but certainly I have gotten used to the junior executives with half Mohawks, the pink ties, the high and pointy shoes and blue eyes everywhere. That is kind of sad that one’s get used to everything but not watching Project Runway.

Sometimes I feel like in the Babel Tower, everybody speaking something different…so lost in the immensity of this city. I am drinking every single day and hopefully my tolerance would be up…We need…we have to recreate that 21st B´day and I need a picture of your big hair. Actually I need a picture of everyone’s hair, hey dear are you still red? I have met some redheads here, even a ginger one… wow. I know that red highlights are in, I miss my pink, well fuchsia highlights, we need to make a party when I go back, we would kick out the new residents of my place, because is OUR place, how dare somebody to live there, we would make t-shirts and dye our hair and let Thea drive…

I am lighten up…thanks Shiva…

ohhh noooo my imaginary mexican girlfriend has a girlfriend, Damn!!! a super tall Scandinavian look alike Claudia Schiffer...but I still think I might have a chance hahahaha wet dreams these are only wet dreams...

Sunday, September 10, 2006


I was soooo sick and tired of myself being depressed, when Kay invited me to spend the weekend in her house I didn’t hesitate. Underwear, macbo, razor, and mp3…I was boarding the train.

Her place is a nice country house outside London in a leafy neighborhood, 4 bedrooms and a garden… she has baby Ali who just learnt how to walk. Baby therapy, is how I called it. Happiness… absolute happiness between the sweetness of Kay and the beauty of Ali.

We devoted ourselves to the baby, taking turns to hold her, feed her and play with her…Her smile worth every single minute of it, she was offering her arms to me and curled herself to hug me. I was in heaven…enjoying the pure love of a baby who does not know what I do, she doesn’t know if I have some extra pounds, if I am a loser, she just knows that in that instant I love her and she loves me back.

When the baby was sleep, Kay and I cooked everything from scratch (we had the time), danced in the kitchen and waited for hubby, who happens to wear a suit and a tie
to work and knows a hell of a lot about wines. For some comment I made Spain came up, and we drank only Spanish wines, he taught me or let put it this way he tried to teach me how to smell the wine and distinguish the different smells.


It was great to visit a family home, where things get dirty and there is no rush to clean them, where nothing matches, and there are no two cabinets full of cleaning products, but baby stuff. I felt so comfortable!

Kay took me to the botanical gardens, the same that once belong to Frederick, Prince of Wales, huge gardens, green houses, and plants from all over the world. Baby Ali walked and ran all what she could and then was out, bless!

They are a weird, pass for normal, couple…we talked and got drunk, both nights, the three of us, I want to be like her, that is a real mom, that keeps a little bit of herself to not be a worried-all-the-time-mom, that gives herself a chance to be with herself with hubby and both act silly. We talked about the different cities in Europe that he happens to know them all, he has being in every single country in Europe, we ended up telling embarrassing stories, that included, hairy arms, fat prostitutes, a porn collection and a limousine.


Excellent music, food, wine, dessert and love…what else do I need from life? I am such a snob…a lucky bastard…someone who just discovered that LOVE is what really matters.

Thursday, September 07, 2006


Mexican middle class is the worst, I despise the moment I was born in it, I hate it!! Don’t get me wrong middle class has it advantages, thanks to that I got an education, I had the time to go to concerts, movies and exhibitions. Sometimes I use my social capital in my favor, it is like knowing a secret code, and people recognize it, then you get what you want… but…but the values are just horrible. Those double standards, pretending to be someone else all the time ( I mean: I do that quite often, but for fun) not to humiliate or mark and make more clear the differences between us.

I have always being in the middle, never in one side, since I was born…I was born in Costa Rica and raised in Mexico, in Mexico I was the Costarican in Costa Rica I was the Mexican, my family is middle class, but I got to the point of not sharing their beliefs, but still enjoying the advantages. Currently I am a social anthropologist doing biocultural stuff as dear Tea said we are the transgenders of the Anthropology… always in limbo.


I am not afraid to say that I have lost my faith, true… this is the new me, I don’t believe in anything but LOVE. I don’t believe in any government, in any type of organization, in democracy, in any rule…nothing… and I feel so free. What I believe is that any kind order is going to be corrupted by power and violence. So my deal is, not until we decided to work for others willing to resign of ourselves, the fight would be lost.

I went out with my new Mexican friends, two beers and I was drunk, is the anemia I want to think, we were discussing the whole deal with the elections in Mexico, and after two beers I am not shy at all, so I shared my lost of faith with them, they pretended to listen to me and didn’t comment, but one of them took it personal and he was trying to convince me that the order is the way to live. He call me an anarchist, a communist don’t remember what more and the sad part is that I don’t even believe on those names anymore. The elections in Mexico are the perfect example of how classism and not wanting to look poor worked in favor of Calderon.

I am a daughter of the Revolution, don’t know exactly which one, but my life has encountered a reason in believing we can be better, more loving, more caring and more compassionate, I don’t study Anthropology to measure human beings, I study because the pain of others hurt me as if is mine, because I could recognize my own pain in others, I thought it may worth try to change the world. Maybe we haven’t found the means, maybe they are not the right ones, maybe is us?

This guy ended up telling me that I would look much better if I comb my hair and put make up on, what does he mean? I have make up on!!! Sweet Mexican middle class, with its stupidity, conditional love and hidden interests.

This probes my point, LOVE as corny as it sounds INCONDICIONAL LOVE, the kind of love that make you cry for no reason, that make you dream, that make you wake up, that make you legs weak, and that sometimes hurt so deep inside that you feel you are going to break into pieces…this LOVE is all what it matters…

Don’t you agree Dee?

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Life sometimes is slow, even when outside there is chaos, in the inside things are going slow. Lately is taking me at least 20 min to do anything, to take a shower, to do the dishes, to decide what to wear…20 min it feels like time stops and I am just here looking at a still picture.

This state relates with my health and I despise the moment I am talking about health, what the hell is that? I feel so old, when in your vocabulary are included the phrases, taking care of myself, eating healthy and general health, means that YOU ARE GOING DOWN!!!! I wish I had a resistant body, like the ones the rock stars have, do you know what I mean? Those bodies that can take systematic abuse for years and then be as functional and healthy as a 20 year old. Not my case, just with a little bit of not eating the stupid right thing I am fainting, not so cool.

Anyway, I come and I go on the matter of health, I have obssesed over it, I have not care at all... with me there is nothing definitive, nothing with me is an absolute, man!!! Sometimes is difficult to be this open, I see my rommie and life is easy, this match or not match, this is permitted or not, this goes or doesn’t nothing complicated, but I look for other options, I look for shades, different tones, so freaking complex.

Anyway, this conversation comes because last week I fainted, yes! And I am sorry to disappoint you, but no, farlitos is not in his way. So, I decided to go to the doctor. A very nice young man with turban and a third eye in red smiled at me and asked me a bunch of questions.

And I was: - What do you mean Pringles are not real food? He even dared to comment on gummy bears and I didn’t tell him about beer. He is also vegetarian and he was sympathetic about my position of not having animal protein to support no violence. Deep inside is the only thing I can really do about it.


We live in such a violent world, I feel the power of violence everyday every single moment, in all presentations in different contexts… this makes me to realize that the only… only… thing that fights and defeats violence is being in love.

That is why I love art, art the material expression of being in love, it is the evidence, it is the prove that we sometimes someday all of us have felt the same, is what is bring us together and make us recognize us in to each others eyes.

I put my mp3 player in the classical music station and it made my day, just to listen the person presenting the sonatas 30 and 32 by Beethoven as the most beautiful pieces of music ever written after Desolation Row by Bob Dylan…It was absolutely awesome.


I traveled all the way thru the underground passages of the Tube and I was observing two men talking, first I thought they were a couple because they were looking to each other with profound love and also very very close, then I had the impression that they were father and son, they were so beautiful immersed in their own bubble, enjoying the sight of each other, then I came back to believe they were a couple, I could see their pupils and they were dilated to the point of no return, it is irrelevant the kind of relationship they had, I could tell they were in love… it is hard to admit, but I felt deeply jealous.

Saturday, September 02, 2006



Today, it was a good day to live even to die, since I came here some of my personalities have died and some others have seen the light for the first time … what could be better in a moment like this than listen to the Requiem? I wore black head to toe, took my bag and traveled all the way to St. Martin in the Fields, getting there was nice and easy and the weather was absolutely gorgeous, this is definitely a good day to live even to die.

I got to the box office located in the crypt, I was really excited, all of the sudden a nice lady approached me to asked me if that was the line for the tickets, I said yes and we ended up having a conversation about Mozart, not that I know about it, she was the one telling me all the places she has listened this piece and she was looking forward to do it last night. She also congratulated me for being there and not outside where a huge latino concert was taking place, I was so excited about Mozart that I didn’t even noticed.

I bought the cheapest ticket and they told me that this ticket had no view, I thought I can deal with that. I went outside and confirm what the lady was saying, it was a huge concert and the band who closed was “El Gran Silencio” from Mexico. Damn it!!

I was sitting down in the stairs of St. Martin of the Fields when I started listening this super chilango accent, man!!! Mexicans. I couldn’t resist and I talked to them. One never knows how people are going to react, but in this case they welcomed me, and we were immediately friends. They came to the concert outside and they assumed I was going with them, they were a little bit surprised when I told them I was there to listen Mozart (I am such a nerd).

We exchanged telephone numbers and we decided to meet after our concerts.

I got in…St Martin in the Fields is not big, not big at all, so all of us were very close to each other, fortunately I found a great place close to the front and by the middle of the concert I could sat down in one of the stained glass windows and I could see everything. I was tripping tripping the music the chorus and the darkness, seriously it was out of this world. Candlelight and music, what else do I need? Thru the church windows it was possible to see the lights of the other concert…tripping tripping.

I came out floating, in love and inspired…ready to meet my new friends. I called them and they were waiting for me, so cute…it is so weird how people get together. We walked to SOHO to have a drink the others went home. We talked and laughed. I don’t feel alone anymore, since a long ago I don’t feel alone.


I took the last train home, it was crowed as it was rush hour, I love London!!! A man in a corner was all bitten up and bleeding his shirt was ripped off and he finished to rip it off, he was systematically putting the rags in the seats, man alcohol!!! Alcohol!!! Do I need to say more?

Came home about 1:30 am and my rommie was folding clothes.