Coming back home, from the bus I could see a sign that says: “Greenwich, where the time begins”. Time is an interesting concept. Where exactly starts?, how it passes? (or better to say, how we think it passes) is it ever going to end?

London is an interesting combination of new and old, and I still having the evidence in my hands I doubt that the time passes, there some things that never are going to be touched by time and there are some others that the time would change and recreate.

Lately, I have been aware of this… London's museums keep the prove that time passes, but having dear Dee here tells me that there are some things that time never is going to change.

London museums and galleries are simply endless, they could be really intimidating even scary, going with Dee to the Tate Modern I thought about a method for appreciate art. I decided not to see everything, what I would do is get in to the room and wait to be called by a piece, systematically see what is calling you and It works!!! Tired of trying to see everything and memorizing all the names and dates. I just gave up. I am going to see what is meant for me to see, What a relief!!! it is like connecting in a very deep level with what is meant for you to do and understand.

It is surrendering, it is connecting to the world, it is simply been here.

Those who get bored in London, need desperate professional help. How many times can I tell you that I love cities? specially London.

Yesterday I went to the famous Portobello Street Market, located to just one tube station from where I went to the Independent Film Festival. I want to live in that neighborhood, it is so full of energy.

The market extents its wings for blocks and blocks and you can find from clothes (all styles and fashions) to antiques. Going thru vegetables, household articles and food. The antiques were amazing!!! Silver, Victorian dresses, jewelry (I found a guy who was selling pins) antique pins in different shapes, I fell completely for one in a shape of a Lobster with rubies on it, of course not in my price range, I asked if I could touch it and he said yes just because I was wearing a nice top, Mexican embroidery rocks!!!!


The cities have this, live of its own, never a quiet moment, never a dull moment, even when it is not very good for you, like smog, cigarette smoking everywhere, public drinking, but on the other hand has a very effective transportation system and markets, cinemas, book stores, in one word LIFE.

I made the comment to my flatmatte about the antiques and I asked her if she like them, she responded that she doesn’t like old stuff which sometimes is just trash. That made me thing about why I am fascinated with used stuff?, because I am. One of the reasons is the morbid knowledge that this or that item belonged to somebody else and now is mine, the other reason is I think that the item in question has developed a personality out of belonging to somebody else, do you know what I mean? is like the love and care that person gave to this item made this item what it is today, it must be a reason this item has survived the trash can. Another reason is, antiques, even thought, some of them were massed produced, generally, they are unique. I love that, uniqueness is a forgotten quality nowadays. It seems that fear takes over and we are afraid to be unique. And the last but no least is that having something with history is owning a piece of time, is having evidence that time exists and we are not alone…

Can you tell I spend a lot of time thinking? Hahaha


I walked out of the market with a pair of heels with a dragonfly on them, a velvet jacket and a beautiful scarf, I am getting myself prepared for the winter, man!!! Not again, Why? Why? Why?. I have made the comment to some of you that people should be banned to live in places that get below 59º F. How much is that in C? I am so damn colonialized I tell temperatures in F and my internal voice now speaks English, Damn it!!!

I am so happy today is Friday; I couldn’t wait for this week to end. Things at work at really interesting between hypochondriacs, gossip, “you said, I said” and clinic depression. The best of all is that I don’t get involved in the matters, I just observe and float around, what is this? High School!! At least I feel we are making progress and if everything goes as planned this is going to be good.

Anyway, I met Luca an Italian student, we were in the computer room talking about our macbos (such a freaks). I found out that there is a Mexican student here, who studies Tepito, one of the oldest and more intricate neighborhoods in Mexico City. Even the City government knows that Tepito is an independent territory, its habitants work together and fight together, and the place is the heart of the street commerce. In Tepito you can find anything and I mean it, from clothes, electronics, shoes, appliances, drugs, arms to human organs, with little coolers on hand people scream “kidney…kidney…fresh kidney”.


I think I have seen her, she is very very pretty, with blue black straight hair and knee boots, I have hear her talk and I thought she was from either Argentina or Chile, she has a different accent, if you compare it to my already affected chilango accent. I am kind of turn on, because Tepito is super rough, Lewisham is a daycare compare to it, and working there as a woman, wow!!! she has all my respect already. I can wait to be friends with them get drunk and familiar. Yes!!! Latinos. You would see just before I have to go I would have my group of friends and my social life all together, and of course I would not want to go.


Jacob’s new nickname is going to be “Die hard” apparently he is not dying, he is even putting on weight and he is naughty as ever, an agonizing rabbit would not kiss Lottie all day, chew the plants, and eat and drink like there is no tomorrow (this last one, I practice it often) Good Lord!!! Way too much attention to a rabbit, I feel sick already.

The latest on the Sri Lanka guy is that every single time I pass in front of his store he comes out and shout, “bye bye darling” Men are so easy, honestly.

This weekend, I have nothing plan, besides sleep, well, I am going to clean the house that is already clean. But, I would find something I am sure if I try hard. All this is because my dearest cousin is coming over!!!! Yeah!!! The one I am always talking about, the one you are sick of hearing about, the one I bring to the conversation with no reason, yeah that poor soul, lost in German territory. I am so freaking nervous, has been 12 years. I have no idea what to say to somebody you haven’t seen in 12 years, and all of the sudden we are going to have an intensive week of catching up, so nervous…

London almost eats me today, I got robbed, yes at the tube station somebody kindly took my wallet from my backpack. Amazingly, something told me to go back and I got it back!!! the person who took it just want the cash and then dropped it. The police officer grabbed me from my arm and asked my name, he said we got your wallet. I almost kissed him honestly. Reality check…definitely.

When I saw myself in the window of a store I was totally pale, I take so many things for granted.

After that, I went swimming with cool mom in her new car, before meeting her, exactly where the bus dropped me off, there is a liquor store that are called “offi” ‘cause they advertise as off license, don’t ask me why, I need to find out…(two minutes later) well I already did wikipedia has all the answers, the term is used to determine stores that have license to sell alcoholic beverages but can not be consumed in the store.

My story is that when I was about to pay, this beautiful, I guess, African lady asked me something in a very intricate accent, I asked her to repeat herself and I sort of caught older than 18, I thought she was kidding and I laughed, but she was serious, she actually asked me for my ID, for God sakes!!! I showed it to her and she said, you are older than me I can not believed it. Well, it is very difficult to tell age if you belong to another culture, is that really true?

It passed to my mind to stayed home and drink instead of going swimming, but I did go. Today, I went to the soccer mom area, cause the big guys were too much for me. Shanti came, she is fabulous!! I love her and we were pretending to swim, when this guy, a total idiot, he got in our sacred line and dedicated himself to bullying us.

He was so aggressive, running into us, getting closer to us and even touching us. Shanti had enough and when we came out of the pool, she complained with the safeguard, this little fellow went and talk to him and all the soccer moms included me were watching, some of them clapped when they saw him being told off.


Shanti had us for dinner, pesto mmmm and red wine, I pulled out from my backpack the wine I just bought, before the surprised faces of cool mom, Shanti and her husband to be, who asked me, do you regularly carry wine in your sac?, I just smiled. I was afraid to answered. Did I tell you about him? I think I did. He has the driest humor ever, I just want to be around him all the time ‘cause he barely moves, but his comments and the way he says them is fantanstic!!!

I can’t keep my eyes open, between the robbery, the swimming, the pesto, the wine and the dry humor I can not hold it for longer.

The morning is waking up as the typical Londonian morning, gray and rainy…what does it feel to be my age? I have no idea because I have never felt I supposed in terms of my age. Now, I totally understand the saying “never trust somebody over thirty” please don’t do it. They are the worst. 1/2 Farlos always noticed that my friends, my real friends were either older or younger than me by 10 to 20 years.

It is really rare for me to have friends of my same age, I simply can not understand the stupid pressure that society, the establishment or who knows what puts on us the poor thirty years olds. I despise all that bullshit of: “by thirty you have to have a plan, a house, a kid, a car, a direction” that is exactly why I hate to act my age, sometimes I play it, but not for long, I can’t. It is exhausting, restricting…I can’t.

Yesterday, it was my birthday and for the first time since I turned 25 I was happy, man! I am over it, I don’t feel pressure to be like anyone else, I have fought so hard to be myself and I think it is finally paying back, I was happy!!!! Being in another country, long hair, sunglasses, leather jacket and tons of eyeliner.

I went to work and my Bangli friend told me that we had a meeting to discussed the latest Blangi student gate, a girl who is boycotting us hahaha I thought that happened only in High School, man!!! At my age living that crap again, Anyway, she kept me there and when the time of the “meeting’ came the students… yes, the ones that don’t talk to me, plus my British adviser where there with cake, strawberries and juices and even a card and a gift for me. I kept saying thank you…It was very sweet I never expected it. My adviser entertained us telling stories of her 9 year old daughter and her experiments with sarcasm, fantastic!.

Then we went to the movies Shinny, SB and myself, Greenwich is incredible, Victorian houses converted in stores, coffee houses and pubs, the people are hip and cool, I was in heaven. Finally, we went to the movie theatre the one with bar, and after 13 pounds, 10 for the movie and 3 for beer (more than 20 us dollars!!! For a Jennifer Aniston movie) we were in this room with red velvet oversized chairs and no more than 20 persons could fit in the room. The movie were more dramatic than I was expecting, damn it!!! And with the corner of my eye, exactly in the same way the rabbits look at me, I saw Shinny crying, I mean crying, man!!! I was at this point badly tripping. The movie was bad, but no for crying, I asked her: - Are you ok hun?, she said yes. When the movie was over we went to the bathroom, and as I said, I don’t know how to do all this girl talk in the bathroom, I am definitely a tomboy, so I didn’t ask her.

We passed thru a fish and chips store, we bought, let me rephrase, they bought for me chips and a piece of bread and apparently the thing is to fill the bun with chips put lots of vinegar and salt and ate it. I started to hate potatoes; I eat them every single day.

We came home. 1/2 Farlos sent me a box full of sweet stuff (soap, incense and some things I can not say) by delivery, cool mom and the couple of the house chip in and bought me Beyond Paradise by Estée Laurent, gosh!!! I was officially overwhelmed.

Shinny, barely spoke and was hugging Jacob all the time. By this point I knew what was happening. Jacob is sick and there is no chance he can survive. My poor Shinny is a mess. She couldn’t stop crying, we didn’t cut the cake she bought for me, and thanks God!!!!, the atmosphere was dense, not appropriate for a celebration.

And I only hope that Jacob does not suffer. I kind of feel bad, but not much, and I certainly do not understand what is the big deal, he is a rabbit. How many people die everyday in no sense wars, victims of domestic violence, how many commit suicide because they don’t see the point of keep going. Rabbits are rabbits and for the cutest they could be, I don’t see the point of such a mess for the expected death of a rabbit.

They said on TV that the average size of a British woman is 16, the equivalent of 14 size in US, I was surprise because I feel is a little too big, in comparison to what I have seen. The truth is as I said before I have been hanging out in Central London, which yesterday has been declared the most expensive city in the world. I travel in the trains, hang out with the big shoots, junior executives of banks and International companies, of course they are skinny, with super expensive clothing, women in extra high and pointy shoes and men with pink ties and half Mohawks… true believers of the system.

I have caught myself throwing airbites to some of them, they look so full of themselves, faces with strong expression, they feel in control…men with power, isn’t that horrible? Damn it!!!! Why? Why? Why? are they so attractive.

If you get out of Central London, and come to the suburbs you will find flesh rolls, prominent bellies, and round cheeks…thanks God!!!

Tomorrow is my birthday, we are making plans and the thing is, we decided to go to the movies, we are going to this movie theatre called The Picture House and has a bar, movies and alcohol, what else can I ask for? Later we are going to come home and we are going to open the Champagne I bought for the engagement. We agreed on watching The Break Up, no further comments. I said to Shinny that it was ok because today I am going to have my dosis of good cinema…I didn’t realized how this comment sounded, I tried to apologize but the bad was done. Am I really intolerant? That comes with age, I think…Shinny says that she comes with terms and conditions, she says that she knows what she wants and she is not willing to compromise. I feel that life is a matter of compromising, you have to compromise and people have to compromise for you, the thing is to be happy doing it.

We were watching a show called the F word, and is about this chef and his restaurant, Shinny went crazy and asked SB to change the channel, I didn’t understand, and she told me why, which between her discomfort and her accent I didn’t understand, and then she came back did you understand what I say? –No, I hate that show because of the animal slaughtering.

Ok, I came up with a stupid story about it and SB came also with one of his, and she told him-me, don’t you ever talk about killing animals in front of me. I prefer seeing people getting killed.

By the way, Jacob has been ill and apparently his teeth that are ones bothering him, he has lost a lot of weight and even he was at the vet on Saturday, they have been considering to take him to the specialist, you don’t wanna know how much this is costing. I am still in shock, while I picture the millions of kids, mothers, fathers who are dying of hunger or working in horrible conditions, here the rabbit is going to have First World surgery. Am I really intolerant? Nothing is fair in this World, there is nothing fair about who lives and who dies.

Today I am going to the Portobello Film Festival, they are showing the short film about the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, those guys are my inspiration…

It has been freaking awesome, Friday I decided to put my act together and do something fulfilling besides drinking, which is fulfilling by itself, but I needed something more. I discovered that it was the opening of the Portobello Film Festival, (the Summer Independent Film Festival of London), I got on to the Underground and 30 min later I was at the Westbourne Park Station. I walked in the opposite direction of the place, of course... I am in London and after asking two times for directions, once in a pizzeria haha where the guy took me all the way to the kitchen, to see the map in the wall, I got there. The area is beautiful, with the river, boats and little bars and bistros, by the way is emo land and I was, where the hell I left my emo glasses?, damn it!!!

The organizers for the day where a group called the anarchofeminist, do I need to say more? Who welcomed me with opened arms, we talked a little bit before the movie and one of them was touching already my knee while we talked.

The only thing I can say about the movie is that it has been having me thinking about it for the whole weekend, I left the place floating, thinking that life is worth living, thank you emos, I really needed. BTW is called Made in Secret, by a group called the East Van Porn Collective, google them, I know what I am telling you.


Today, from the train I could see that something was happening on the street some kind of parade. I got off at the London Bridge, as soon as got off I saw the Mexican flag in all its splendor, my heart jumped and then I realized it was a Latino Festival, the Puerto Ricans were behind with their reggaeton, not even in England I can escape from it. The “Mexican” group had a Chinese dragon converted in Quetzalcoatl, gosh!!! I ran after them, but I was a little shy to ask them where they were from, I almost left the parade, but the Brazilian Samba was coming, myself with a bunch of sleazy guys were following them, finally I caught up with the “Mexicans” and a girl offered me wine, of course I said, public drinking rocks! I asked her where are you from? She said: Colombia. I was shocked. How come you are representing Mexico?, she answered: -Because Colombians are better fun than Mexicans. Then I found out that not a single person in the Mexican group was from Mexico…I felt deeply offended, don’t know why, it could be that my symbols carried by somebody else, I felt lonely.

After my close encounter with “la latinidad” I went to the Tate Britain. Victorian Art is the best!!! The Best!!! Charged with moral, religiosity and pain, the colors, the shapes, the faces, the eyes, and best of all the darkness, the lack of light is what makes it.

I was there just hallucinating, between the emphasized nudity and the colors until I looked a darker room, I went directly to it, and there…there I had an spontaneous orgasm, thank you I needed it. William Blake’s drawings, Ohh My God!!! Remember the movie Red Dragon? Where the character with the same name ate the William Blake’s drawing, I was about to do it, I was this close…I almost kiss the person next to me…eehh maybe not.

William Blake was a tormented soul, just like…never mind, good and evil, the recurrent theme, death, chaos, and solitude. Life in summary. So I can say this weekend has been inspiring I have resolved to do 4 things for the rest of my life.

1) Writing, it is the only thing that keeps me, lets say... “functional”
2) Getting high on art, beauty or whatever
3) Making love
4) Watching good cinema

The order does not matter and of course is valid to do two or more activities simultaneously.

I had a weird dream where JF, Q, Marilyn Manson and myself were hanging out at Q's place, eehhh not bad, not bad at all.

What would’ve been of my life without youtube?

Shinny came back from her romantic weekend without a ring…I have bought champagne and even cake to celebrate the sacred union of the souls in holly commitment of matrimony, well maybe some other time. We were so sure he will propose… so sure and then SB let us down, Shinny even told me about bets going on in her office.

Last night, she discovered the champagne in the fridge and we were laughing so hard, then he came and laughed even more, there is no respect in this house anymore. Sunday with a horrible hangover, SB called me to watch rugby with him in the living room, Shinny almost fainted when she saw us, beer on hand leaned over and screaming. Oh no!!! she said…I need to say that she is a girly girly girl and I have a tomboy hidden in my sleeve. Little by little our real us are coming out and we still like each other. I love rugby it is so clever and I don’t need to comment on the players…aahhhhh Damn hormones!!!.

My mom and I, always watch baseball, not because we love the game, we love the players, the are so damn chunky, so cute… we have a little fetish on chunky guys, another activity we used to watch together was the bullfights, the matadors are not chunky at all, but the always have a nice ass. Now, that I am vegetarian I don’t know if it politically correct to watch the bullfights…Oh noooo!!!, well I can promise not to watch the bull (haha)

We are planning my birthday right? And they want to take me to see the Lion King in the theatre, I didn’t know how to say that I would prefer some other thing, then I said about going to see Chicago, I was obsessed with the film when it came out, I know all the songs by heart, and they were eeeewwwww nooooo we hate Broadway! Ok never mind, so Theatre is not going to be.

Pub hopping, was suggested and I think that is what is going to be, so funny when Shinny told me, you should invite your friends from college (cricket sound in the background) after a few moments I said, I will invite them only if I they talk to me, we laughed so hard. Well, I have a couple of friends at the U, they are from Bangladesh and they don’t drink. Guysss!!!! Where the hell are you???

SB suggested to get drunk and then to get on the London Eye, not bad, but I am thinking that maybe we can go and brake in to the Queen’s Gallery and wear all the jewelry and pass out until next morning, at least we are going to look good in jail. Can you imagine SB with a tiara, he and Ivan will fight over it, I’d take my Victoria Posh sunglasses, at least in the news I will look proper.